


Nothin Suits Me Like a Suit

by DailyAl, TellyLikesPudding



Category: Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers
Genre: Crack, F/M, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform, Tony Stark is fabulous, because, how I met your mother song reference, i had to write it, i thought it was funny, nothin suit me like a suit, this was a dream, to be fair I was a little drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5311403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DailyAl/pseuds/DailyAl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellyLikesPudding/pseuds/TellyLikesPudding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers are once again saving the day from Loki when Iron Man is hit by an hallucinogenic spell and Pepper is super done with his shit. </p><p>(Crack story!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothin Suits Me Like a Suit

Ironman was in a nearly hallucinogenic state as he crashed through the large window of his penthouse. He vaguely registered the sounds of his team mates battling, Loki's sinister laugh cutting through the air. Tony laid there for what felt like hours before his suit was disassembled and the worried face of Steve Rogers hovered over him. "Tony? You ok?" "Sure thing Captain Tight Pants. Never been better," he slurred as he attempted to sit up. "No no no no. Stay down Tony. We don't know what Loki hit you with yet." Tony sighed deeply. "Do you see colours? I see colours." "Stay with us Stark," Natasha whispered as she looked him over. All heads turned as Pepper barged into the room, screeching insanely. "TONY WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING DOING SOMETHING SO STUPID!" "Peeeeppeeerrrr. Your hair is an octopusssss!" Tony groaned, his eyes swimming with confusion as colours undulated around his vision. "TONY I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE! YOUCAN'TKEEPDOINGTHISTOME!!" "Pepper please calm down," Steve asked, trying to sooth the shrieking woman. "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" "Pepper I will inject you with a sedative if you don't stop screaming," Natasha stated firmly. Pepper glared before leaning in close to Tony's face and half-growling, "You have a choice, Tony. You can either choose me… or you can choose the suits." Tony stared off into the distance, his eyes glazed over as music started.

_"I know what you're thinking What's Tony been drinking? That girl was smoking hot._

_Yes I coulda nailed her_

_But no it's not a failure_

_'Cuz there's one thing she is not_

_To score a ten would be just fine But I'd rather be dressed to the nines_

_It's a truth you can't refute_

_Nothing suits me like a suit!"_

Dream Tony danced around Dream Pepper as she huffed and walked away. He grinned as everyone surrounding him appeared to have donned his various Ironman suits.

_"Picture a world where all the boys and girls_

_Are impeccably high tech_

_That delivery guy flying in a mark 5 That puppy with a mobile mech_

_That '80s dude with mutton chops That baby with a lollipop_

_That lady cop who's kinda cute Nothing suits 'em like a suit."_

Tony grinned as more people appeared in his suits, soaking in the beauty of it.

_"Mark IV I can wear_

_They're oh so debonair_

_The perfect way to snare_

_A God with daddy issues._

_In hot rod red and gold_

_Check out this awesome mode_

_I want to give it a test!"_

Suddenly Clint appeared next to Tony, in a Mark II.

_"Oh really? Then answer these questions_

_Do your best."_

Tony followed Clint as he led him down the street.

_"What would you do if you had to choose_

_Between your suits and a pot o gold?"_

_"Suits."_

Tony answered immediately and was pulled on down the path by Thor.

_"What would you say_

_If you gave your suits away_

_In return you'd never grow old?"_

_"Suits."_

Maria Hill gripped Tony's elbow painfully and pulled him along.

_"What would you pick_

_One million chicks_

_Or a single Mark III suit?"_

_"It's moot."_

Steve popped up beside them, unusually cheery.

_"What if world peace_

_Were within your reach..."_

Tony cut Steve off quickly, waving his hands and tutting.

_"Abbadabada I'm gonna stop you right there._

_It's suits. Come on, Rogers._

_Get your head outta your ass. Two... Three... Four!"_

Tony and the Avengers were soon surrounded with men and women in Ironman suits.

_"Girls will go and girls will come_

_But there's only one absolute_

_Every hero on the go needs to know_

_That there's no accepted substitute"_

Tony stood in the center, the crowd forming a circle for him.

_"I'm sorry suits, let's make amends My Iron Men are my best friends_

_Send Casual Friday down the laundry chute!"_

Tony leapt up onto the hood of a cab, his Ironettes surrounding him joyously.

_"'Cuz nothing suits the undisputed oft-saluted suitor of repute_

_Like a... wait for it..."_

Tony glanced around as every single man and woman glanced up at him, awaiting his next word. Tony's surroundings whirled as his dancers faded. His eyes opened once again but he was not greeted with Steve's face. "Well?" Pepper growled. Tony contemplated this hazily, going over his options. He glanced over to see curious green eyes staring at him. He knew what he would do. Tony looked up at Pepper confidentially. "Sorry Pep. Nothin' suits me like a suit." Pepper squawked indignantly, shoving past Steve and Clint to exit the rooftop. Tony spared another glance towards the God of Mischief who was smirking smugly. "Hey Reindeer Games. Let's do lunch sometime."

_"SUUUUUUUUUUIIIIT"_

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the link to the song which inspired this very odd drabble. It's from How I Met Your Mother because Neil Patrick Harris is a god! Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to comment!
> 
> ~Mac
> 
> Song: http://youtu.be/CiweaZQ8g5U


End file.
